Attn: Tom

You Have Your PhD in Men

You understand men almost better than anyone. You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well. Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.

How Well Do You Understand Men?

Search Line(s) of the Day

Recently Googled:  "do indians like beef?"

 Yes, all the indians I know like beef.  Especially the Irish indians in my house. 

It seems that homemade corned beef hash, corn beef, beef hash, corn-beef hash, and every other way you can type corned beef hash into a search line is very popular as well.

 Also, for the one who wants to know "What kind of salad should I prepare to complement a chicken curry dish?"--you get the prize for the most specific, grammatically precise search line.

 For the person who wonders, "what was the weather for the whole month of January"--I guess that would depend on where you live.

Ground Hog Day Redux

First D.J.: Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
Second D.J.: It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
First D.J.: Not hardly. So the big question on everybody's lips.
Second D.J.: On their chapped lips
First D.J.: their chapped lips is, does Phil feel lucky? Punksatawney Phil, thats right wood chuck chuckers its
[in unison]
First D.J.: GROUND HOG DAY
Second D.J.: GROUND HOG DAY

From my 2006 Groundhog Day's Post: 

"The movie, Groundhog Day, was filmed in Woodstock, Illinois, not far from where I live. This was the year I told myself I might get up early and go see what's going on in the square this morning, but I hate crowds and I told myself the same thing I've told myself every year we've lived here: "maybe next year." I have visited the square, had coffee and pie in the restaurant, and seen the spot where Needlenose Ned Ryerson accosts Phil. I have seen the spot where Phil steps into the puddle. But I have never yet experienced Groundhog day on the square. I'm not sure why, other than perhaps a fear that, once begun, I will be hooked and Groundhog Day will be a recurring event for me."

 From my 2007 Groundhog Day Post:

"Last year I said, "This was the year I told myself I might get up early and go see what's going on in the square this morning, but I hate crowds and I told myself the same thing I've told myself every year we've lived here: "maybe next year."

Well, now it's next year and,again, I won't be going to the square to see if Willie catches a glimpse of his shadow.  You see, I've seen the weather forecast for tomorrow morning and I don't need Willie or the DJ's to tell me that it's too "cooooold out there."

 This year, Groundhog Day fell on Saturday.  Tom and I toyed with the idea of going down to the square and then having breakfast at Angelo's Restaurant.  We went to bed with the agreement that if we woke up in enough time to get up, get dressed, and get down there, we'd go.  We didn't.

Another Groundhog's Day; another no show for us.  

All is right in the world. 

(I'll let you know Woodstock Willie's prognostications when I find out.  My predictions?  Spring will arrive on or about April 15th)

Update on Saturday, February 2, 2008 at 09:20AM by Kim from Hiraeth

Woodstock Willie did NOT see his shadow, so he's calling for an early spring.

Color me cynical. 

Important Safety Bulletin

The American Medical Association has announced a new national symbol for choking.  Please inform all of the people in your safety department.

OLD SYMBOL

 

NEW SYMBOL

HT: an email from my hubby. 

Now I know. . .

 
. . . what all the fuss is about

Wish I'd had my camera with me. . .again

I really do need to start taking my camera with me wherever I go.

 This morning I was out running errands and had to stop my car (for the second time this week!) for a Canada Goose couple out walking with their offspring.  This morning I counted 22 junior goslings sandwiched between their parents as they crossed the street in perfect file.  They were in no hurry; I had plenty of time to count. . .

Update on Saturday, June 23, 2007 at 08:31AM by Kim from Hiraeth

From the Wikipedia article:

During the second year of their lives, Canada Geese find themselves a mate. Most couples stay together all of their lives. If one is killed, the other may find a new mate. The female lays 4-8 eggs and both parents protect the nest while the eggs incubate, but the female spends more time at the nest than the male. Known egg predators include Arctic Foxes, Red Foxes, all large gulls, Common Raven, American Crows and bears. During this incubation period, the adults lose their flight feathers, so that they cannot fly until after their eggs hatch. This stage lasts for 25-28 days.

Adult geese are often seen leading their goslings in a line, usually with one parent at the front, and the other at the back of the "parade". While protecting their goslings, parents often violently chase away nearby creatures, from small blackbirds to other geese, to humans that approach, after warning them by giving off a hissing sound. Most of the species that prey on eggs will also take a gosling, if there's an opportunity. However, geese may form groups of a number of goslings and a few adults, called crèches. The offspring enter the fledging stage anytime from 6 to 9 weeks of age. The young do not leave their parents until after the spring migration, when they return to their birthplace.

Apparently my little "parade" was part of a creche.  I thought 22 eggs seemed like an awful lot!

Wish I'd had my camera with me. . .

I just got back from running some errands.  I saw two rather arresting sights--both involving Hummers.

The first one was a big, black Hummer in front of me that looked like no one was driving it.  The car tank pulled into the left turn lane at the intersection and I pulled into the right turn lane.  I looked over and, sure enough, there WAS someone driving:

The oldest, smallest, "little old white haired lady" I have ever seen. She looked like Tweety Bird's Grandma!

I was still grinning from that image when I encountered another big ol' Hummer.  If you can really call it a "Hummer"--it was carnation Pink.  A quick google search when I got home proves that pink Hummer's aren't all that unusual.

(Is Mary Kay giving away pink Hummer's to top salesladies?) 

More Confessions

I confess that I have lived in Chicagoland for four years and until yesterday, I had never been Downtown. 

 

I confess I love art museums.

 

Art?  I confess; I don't get it.

 

Albrecht Durer, 1471-1528
The Flagellation, from the series The Large Passion
woodcut, on paper 

I adore Albrecht Durer.  I wasn't happy until I saw one of his works.  Wouldn't've been fun without it.
I confess I was a bit disappointed that there were only two small woodcuts hanging in a hallway.   I confess I was expecting a whole roomful.

 

I confess this guy's stance made me think of Steve Martin playing one of "Two Wild and Crazy Guys" on Saturday Night Live. 

 

I confess that I love very dark, ominous looking landscapes.

 

I confess that, whether the name has been changed to Macy's or not, I will always call Marshall Fields Marshall Fields. 

Sunday Confession One and Two

Confession One:  Unlike most of the rest of America, I had never seen Pirates of the Caribbean the Black Pearl--until Friday.

 Confession Two:  I love Jack Sparrow. And all of his "effects."

More confessions to follow. 

Proof Positive

Even trampling wildebeasts cannot keep me from smiling over a witty quote:

"There are two types of people--those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"  --  Fredrick L. Collins

(However, I did notice that my eyelids hurt when the corners of my mouth go up) 

J.R.R. Tolkien and the Mother Goose Connection

 

Sherry, at Semicolon, reminds us that May 1 is Mother Goose Day.  But did you know that there is a Tolkien/Mother Goose connection?  Read on!

Hey! Diddle, Diddle

Hey! diddle, diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon;
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.

Mother Goose 

Here's evidence that Tolkien wasn't only influenced by ancient Anglo-Saxon and Nordic tales.  He read Mother Goose, too, and wove her images into his writing as deftly as he did those of Beowolf!  Would you like to read more about the Cat and the Fiddle and why it was that the cow jumped over the moon?

At the Sign of the Prancing Pony
A Merry Old Inn
by Bilbo Baggins

There is an inn, a merry old inn
beneath an old grey hill,
And there they brew a beer so brown
That the Man in the Moon himself came down
one night to drink his fill.

The ostler has a tipsy cat
that plays a five-stringed fiddle;
And up and down he runs his bow,
Now squeaking high, now purring low,
now sawing in the middle.

The landlord keeps a little dog
that is mighty fond of jokes;
When there's good cheer among the guests,
He cocks an ear at all the jests
and laughs until he chokes.

They also keep a hornéd cow
as proud as any queen;
But music turns her head like ale,
And makes her wave her tufted tail
and dance upon the green.

And O! the rows of silver dishes
and the store of silver spoons!
For Sunday there's a special pair,
And these they polish up with care
on Saturday afternoons.

The Man in the Moon was drinking deep,
and the cat began to wail;
A dish and a spoon on the table danced,
The cow in the garden madly pranced,
and the little dog chased his tail.

The Man in the Moon took another mug,
and rolled beneath his chair;
And there he dozed and dreamed of ale,
Till in the sky the stars were pale,
and dawn was in the air.

Then the ostler said to his tipsy cat:
"The white horses of the Moon,
They neigh and champ their silver bits;
But their master's been and drowned his wits,
and the Sun'll be rising soon!"

So the cat on his fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,
a jig that would wake the dead:
He squeaked and sawed and quickened the tune,
While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon:
"It's after three!" he said.

They rolled the Man slowly up the hill
and bundled him into the Moon,
While his horses galloped up in rear,
And the cow came capering like a deer,
and a dish ran up with the spoon.

Now quicker the fiddle went deedle-dum-diddle;
the dog began to roar,
The cow and the horses stood on their heads;
The guests all bounded from their beds
and danced upon the floor.

With a ping and a pang the fiddle-strings broke!
the cow jumped over the Moon,
And the little dog laughed to see such fun,
And the Saturday dish went off at a run
with the silver Sunday spoon.

The round Moon rolled behind the hill,
as the Sun raised up her head.
She hardly believed her fiery eyes;
For though it was day, to her suprise
they all went back to bed.

J. R. R. Tolkien 

Grandbabies

As you can see, they are not mine, they are Eve's grandpuppies.  These pups are out of her son, Archee, who was born from the last litter she had before she was "retired."  They are three days old in this picture.  Aren't they sweet?

Quel Dommage!

The Experimental Pickle

Sounds like a good name for a "SPONGEBOBsquarepants" episode, doesn't it?  Well, it's not.  Last week, Rebecca posted a recipe for pickled eggs.  Now, I am a famous pickled eggs fan, so when I read that she made hers by soaking them in pickle juice instead of in a bottle of pickled beets, like I do, I was curious.  So curious that I promptly boiled some eggs and set about doing an experiment.  I decided to do dill pickle eggs and beet pickle eggs.  While I was searching in the 'fridge for dill pickle juice, I found a jar of hot garden mix juice, which I saved the last time I made Jules' Macaroni Salad.  Two more eggs went into that jar and then I waited.

 

 

My mom, sister, and niece were here for a visit and we sampled on Friday.  We liked them all.  My personal favorite is the hot pickled egg made in the garden mix.  They are hot and yummy and would be a fantastic addition to  Jules' Macaroni Salad (I already have made an addition to her macaroni salad recipe by adding two links of Hormel pepperoni, cut into cubes--maybe I should start calling it Kim's Macaroni Salad. . .)

UFO

Unidentified Frozen Object(s)

Found this strange UFO in my freezer this morning.  There are actually four neatly zip locked bags inside a bigger neatly zip locked bag.  Two appear to be a sauce of some kind, the other two contain, well, it's anyone's guess what they contain.

They are thawing on the counter.  I'll let you know once I figure it out.  If I figure it out. 

I have no personal recollection of this frozen mystery. 

UPDATE:  I can now tell you what was in the little baggies--LUNCH!  It was mussels and scallops in a garlic and wine sauce.  I have no idea why I froze the seafood and the sauce separately, or why I froze it in in two batches instead of one.  That remains a mystery. 

Never mind all that.  Lunch was delicious.

Interesting search queries

Stopping obsessive cats. . .sorry, I don't have an answer for that but if you do, please leave full instructions in the comments section of this post.

Kids Say the Funniest Things 4

Technically, this story should be entitled, Kids DO the funniest things.  Well, sometimes it takes a while before they actually become funny.  Sometimes, like in Rosemary's story below, they start out horrifying and shocking and only time allows us to see the humor.

This is one of those stories.

This story comes from the annals of John's childhood.  Yes, I know.  I do have two other boys.  And they did and said funny things, too, but John was one of a kind. Some kids are just like that.

John gave up his naps very early.   By two years of age he decided that he just wasn't that tired and didn't need to sleep.  I disagreed, and I was the mommy, after all, so the "naps" continued.  He didn't have to sleep, but he did have to go to his room and lay down.  He could look at books but he wasn't allowed to get out of his little toddler bed.

Occasionally, he would drop off to sleep, but most of the time he would sing and talk and "read."  Before long, I'd hear, "Mommy!  I'm all done-y."

 One day he was very quite.  Ominously quiet.  I kept sneaking up the creaky old staircase to his room and listening at the door.  When one hour became two hours and then two and a half, I decided I better wake him up or he'd never sleep that night.

I went upstairs and cracked the door of his room.  The smell hit me immediately.  That awful, fishy oily smell of A&D ointment.   That was bad enough but nothing could prepare me for what I saw when I entered his room.

John had managed to silently move every single thing that was within his reach--books, toys, rugs, diapers, stuffed toys, you name it--if he could reach it, he had piled it into a huge mountainous heap on his little toddler bed.  Precariously perched on the very top of the heap, seated in his little wooden rocking chair (which was stacked on top of his wastebasket) was John--naked and covered from head to toe in A & D ointment.

"John!  *gasp* What were you doing?"

"I needed to change my diaper."

Sigh.  It took many repeated washings before his oily, slippery skin stopped repelling the water.  By the time I got him cleaned up, Daddy was home from work. 

 

Have your kids, grandkids, neighborkids said (or done) anything funny?  (Of course they have!--they're kids!) Maybe you said something funny when you were little and your mom still likes to tell the story at every family reunion.   Why don't you write about it on your blog or leave a note in the comments so we can all smile? 

Kids Say the Funniest Things 3

We've got some more funny ones today!  I hope I have remembered them all.  If you don't see your's, please do remind me! 

 Here we go:

Here's one from Sue, grandma extraordinaire:

I do have to share one little story about little "D" our grandson. This happened about five years ago when he was just beginning to be potty trained. We would take him to the potty and tell him to "Just Try" (because he would often state he didn't have to go.)  We were all seated around the table at a very nice restaurant and we decided that it would be a good idea to visit the restroom before the meal came.  My son in law got up to take little "D" and he turned to Bill and asked him if was going to go with them. Bill said "No."  Little "D" said in a voice loud enough for all to hear " Come on Papa, you need to Just Try to go Potty!"

Sherry tells us:

My three year old confided in our neighbor, "I know a Bible verse."
   
"What is it?" she asked expecting to hear a simple verse.
   
"Never play with matches," said my Biblical scholar.

This one from Jill:

Brian and I were at a family Christmas party many years ago and one of my young cousins told Brian that he looked like Abraham Lincoln.

Brian says, "Was that a compliment?"

And Johnny says, "No!  He was a PRESIDENT!"

And I saved the best (or worst!) for last.  I think every mom groaned and grinned when she read THIS one from Rosemary:

This story needs a bit of background. First, I had my children in the Old Days when babies were diapered with cloth diapers. Used ones were put into a pail of soapy water until they were laundered. (YUK).My oldest son sometimes watched Sesame Street while I tended our newborn son. One day, a group of farmer puppets sang a rollicking song called "Slop the Hogs." Well. The next day as I tended the baby downstairs, the 3 year old was upstairs in his bedroom. After a while it occurred to me that he was mighty quiet. I went up to check on him, and he was sitting on his bed, hands folded in his lap, silent. The diaper bucket and potent contents were spilled onto the carpet in front of him. As I entered the room and gasped at what I saw, he looked up at me and quietly said,

"But mommy, I was just trying to slop the hogs..."

 I have my own horrifying story to share, but I'll save it for later.

Kids Say the Funniest Things 2

Here's an hysterically funny story that my dear friend, AnnMarie, left in the comments: 

Did you know that the Bible mentions "sandwiches on the beach"? In November 2006, during sunday school I read the following verse to the fifth and sixth graders... "Indeed I will greatly bless you, and I will greatly multiply your seed as the stars of the heavens, and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your seed shall possess the gate of their enemies." Genesis 22:17 NAS Imagine my wonder as they all blankly stared at me and asked what I meant by "sandwiches on the beach"!! The class and I are still laughing about this one...

Don't you love it when kids "mis-hear" Bible verses and hymns?

When Jake, our second, was learning his first Bible verse from John 14 (In my Father's house are many mansions. . .I go to prepare a place for you) he heard it a little differently:

In my Father's house are many mansions, I go to repair a place for you 

Think it had anything to do with the fact that we were living in an old, 1840 house that was in constant need of repair? 

Amy, from Ezekiel's Garden shares a story of misunderstanding from her three year old: 

We were decorating for Christmas a few days before Christmas. The boys were coloring a manger scene I had printed out for them, and they were asking sweet questions about Jesus and how he was a baby. Somehow, dear little Timex (the 3yo) got it into his mind that there were 2 babies in my belly, instead of just one. "Mommy, do you have a baby Jesus in there, too?!?!" It took quite some explanation to help him understand that Jesus was a baby a long time ago, but we finally got that through.

In another life, a long time ago, I was a preschool teacher, so you know I have a lot of funny stories I could tell.  Here's one from a long time ago that involves "kid hearing"

                                        Early in the school year, I was teaching the pledge of allegience to a roomful of three year olds.  I was telling them about respect for the flag and reminded them that we should keep our eyes on the flag when we are reciting the pledge.  As we began to recite, one little guy immediately ran to the small American flag I was holding in my hand and tried to put his eye on it!

Surely you have some funny stories, too!  Whether they come from your own children, your grandchildren, your students, the neighborhood kids, now is the time to send them in!

 Keep 'em coming!

Here's a show I'd watch

Reformed Eye for the Arminian Guy

Who says Reformed types have no sense of humor?