Kids Say the Funniest Things 4
Sunday, January 7, 2007 at 06:27AM Technically, this story should be entitled, Kids DO the funniest things. Well, sometimes it takes a while before they actually become funny. Sometimes, like in Rosemary's story below, they start out horrifying and shocking and only time allows us to see the humor.
This is one of those stories.
This story comes from the annals of John's childhood. Yes, I know. I do have two other boys. And they did and said funny things, too, but John was one of a kind. Some kids are just like that.
John gave up his naps very early. By two years of age he decided that he just wasn't that tired and didn't need to sleep. I disagreed, and I was the mommy, after all, so the "naps" continued. He didn't have to sleep, but he did have to go to his room and lay down. He could look at books but he wasn't allowed to get out of his little toddler bed.
Occasionally, he would drop off to sleep, but most of the time he would sing and talk and "read." Before long, I'd hear, "Mommy! I'm all done-y."
One day he was very quite. Ominously quiet. I kept sneaking up the creaky old staircase to his room and listening at the door. When one hour became two hours and then two and a half, I decided I better wake him up or he'd never sleep that night.
I went upstairs and cracked the door of his room. The smell hit me immediately. That awful, fishy oily smell of A&D ointment. That was bad enough but nothing could prepare me for what I saw when I entered his room.
John had managed to silently move every single thing that was within his reach--books, toys, rugs, diapers, stuffed toys, you name it--if he could reach it, he had piled it into a huge mountainous heap on his little toddler bed. Precariously perched on the very top of the heap, seated in his little wooden rocking chair (which was stacked on top of his wastebasket) was John--naked and covered from head to toe in A & D ointment.
"John! *gasp* What were you doing?"
"I needed to change my diaper."
Sigh. It took many repeated washings before his oily, slippery skin stopped repelling the water. By the time I got him cleaned up, Daddy was home from work.
Reader Comments (10)
Hehe... God bless the person who invented bayb monitors! *grin*
BABY monitors, even...
I can still recall the smell of A&D ointment after all these years! Can't imagine the mess that must have been to clean up! Funny to recall now though!
:)
Thankfully, he didn't "lube up" until he was seated on his rocking chair and he didn't try to get down from the pile. I had a hard time lifting him down without dropping him, though!
Oh, those kids with ideas do the funniest things!
Oh, but that's a good one! My Ruben has always been my little comedian. Hardly a day goes by that he doesn't crack me up...still.
Y'gotta love kids!
Oh my goodness. This is SO like what my Essie used to do! I dreaded checkign on her when she got quiet at nap time. Would she be sound asleep or did she just decorate my entire room with deoderant?
so...are you saying I have THIS to look forward to? Oh my! :)
I have one to add:
At the hairdresser with my youngest the other day I noticed how his fringe looked much shorter than usual. I asked him if he had cut it as he has been known to take his hairstyle into his own hands on occasion. He very innocently said, "No, Mama." So, when he was seated in the hairdresser's chair I explained my frustration with the slow growing fringe, "The rest of his hair gets longer but his fringe wont grow to a reasonable length."
"That's because it's been cut," said my hairdresser.
"Mmmm," said Mama, as the pieces fell into place, "I asked [child's name] about that but he said he didn't cut it."
The hairdresser and I exchanged knowing looks as she replied, "I'm not saying who cut it, I'm just saying it's been cut."
"Oh, do you know who cut your fringe?" I asked my innocent cherub.
"It was Johnny," he replied.
"Really? Why did Johnny cut your fringe?"
"Because I was chasing him and he didn't like it. But I didn't know that I was chasing him because he is invisible and I couldn't see thatI was chasing him, but I was. So Johnny cut my winge but I couldn't see the scissors because theywere invisible too."
I tired to stifle a laugh at Mr 5's explanation. I had to admit it is very hard to contend with an invisible friend wielding invisible scissors.
Hi Kim!
You moved the blog AGAIN! :)
This post reminds me of the story my mom always tells of when my brother got into the CRISCO. He was about 2 1/2 and it took about a month to have him not slip through her hands in the tub. I wasn't around yet, but there is a great picture of Ben with the Crisco, offering Mom a whole handful....